Reckless Heart
by Vanilla Coated Love
Summary: One band. Two lead vocals. Four reckless members. And one kickass secret. (Reposted and revised)
1. Chapter 1

**Author's notes**: It's back. This fan fiction was originally published last _September 30, 2009_ and was my first story. Due to FFN's rules I took it down a couple of months ago. I tweaked it a bit and the result can be found in later chapters. As I said, first story so **no expectations**. Happy reading. :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Gakuen Alice or the songs that will be used in the story

**Dedication**: To those who PMed me... those who left reviews regarding the deletion of this fic. You wanted it back just as much as I did (maybe even more).This is for _you_.

* * *

**Reckless Heart**

by: _Vanilla Coated Love  
(_beta read by_: Kage No Megami)_

_One band. Two lead vocals. Four reckless members. And one kickass secret._

* * *

_Even the SMALLEST lie could ruin the BIGGEST trust you've already built._

**CHAPTER 1**

**Mikan Sakura**

"Ugh. I can't believe it!" Anna exclaimed. She looked frustrated as we all walked our last class of the afternoon.

"What is it?" Nonoko, the look-a-like best friend, asked. Like I said, they look a like. The only difference between them, I guess, would be their hair color. Nonoko's hair is a dark shade of combat blue, but other than that, their smiles and the way they walk and talk were exactly same. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

"It's Reckless Heart," she said as if those two words alone answered Nonoko's question. When we didn't respond she continued, "it's been a year since I've first heard their songs and I still have no idea who they are," Anna complained, yet again. She's been like this over these past couple of months. At first, the topics were minor and escaped her mind almost instantly, but now it's always the headline news in her world. Reckless Heart this. Reckless Heart that. Not that I'm complaining though. I _am _a part of that band. They just don't know it.

It was difficult. Not to mention awkward. If Anna found out…

Oh God.

That's what they told me-not to tell anyone that I'm in Reckless Heart. RH for short. Everything started last year. That's when everything changed, when I signed that contract.

"I really don't get you Anna. I, for one, don't like them," I lied as we neared our classroom. It was all part of the plan. I know it's bad to lie, everybody does, but this is for something… good.

"Mikan! How can you say that? They're so amazing and cool and their songs, oh my gosh, are just the best!" She jumped up and down, almost squealing in excitement.

"And where have you ever seen a band with two lead singers? The girl's voice is so angelic while the guy's is so deep. They're perfect!" Now Anna was holding her hands together in a fawning pose.

"Anna, stop it. You're drooling," I said.

She always has this fantasy that both of the singers were a couple. She had no idea how wrong she was. Just thinking about it… ugh.

Nonoko giggled.

"Hey! That's mean! Well, I think you, Mikan, are the only person in the academy who doesn't like Reckless Heart. Maybe even in the whole planet!"

How can I go gaga over a band when I'm in it? That'd be weird. I wanted to voice my thoughts a loud, but Hotaru, my best friend and the band's manager, had sworn me to secrecy.

As we entered the classroom… hm, let's just say that the substitute teacher was crying his heart out since no one was listening to him. So it was kind of like a free period. Again.

"Let's meet up after class Mikan," Nonoko chirped as she and Anna sat down in their seats. My seat was at the way back.

I sat down and dropped my bag to the floor. The guy next to me was covering his face with a manga, so you could assume that he was sleeping, as always. I got my precious notebook out and turned to a fresh new sheet of paper. I was planning on writing a new song when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned to look into Natsume's bright crimson eyes and intercepted a flying paper wad. I grinned and opened it.

**Practice. After class. Same place.**

**DO NOT BE LATE AGAIN.**

I rolled my eyes while writing back in reply:

_Yes, yes, of course._

I slid it on top of his desk. He took it, and after a few minutes, tossed it over again.

**You better. Writing a new song?**

_Well, I was kinda planning to, but I can't think of any good words. Maybe later at practice :)_

And I found it hard to write songs without my guitar.

I gave it to him. Nobody seemed to notice that we were exchanging notes. If they knew, Sumire and Luna and his oh so scary fan girls would probably start World War Three with me. We've been doing this ever since the band started, since it was the only way that I could stay alive without the girls in my classes noticing us discussing music.

Just music. Nothing more, nothing less.

I don't get why every girl is crazy about this freak even if they didn't know about the whole band thing. How do they treat me? Let's just put it in a mild sense that those girls hate me. Anna, Nonoko, and Hotaru are my only friends here, as well as my band mates. If only they all knew that the song Sumire had been singing/blaring for about a week now was the song that I wrote and the song that I sang (with the help of the freak, of course). That was the one part that I hated about the whole egret thing, but I kind of liked it too. This way, no one can interfere with my private life.

I felt Natsume nudge my elbow. I grabbed the latest note and began reading.

**Hn.**

This guy's so annoying! I was about to write back when the bell rang. Wait. Class was done already? I swore in my head. I didn't have the change to write a song after all. He stood up before me, but before he sauntered down the aisles, he bent down and whispered into my ear.

"Don't be late, Polka. I'm warning you."

His voice sent shivers down my spine. Even if he was the band's leader, and even if we're kind of close, he's still one big jerk.

"Pervert," I grumbled at him. He flaunted his signature smirk on his face as he passed by. Ruka and Koko entered the room at about the same time he exited, and they fist pounded/did-whatever-ritual-males-do-when-they-greet-each-other. I waved at them after they spotted me a moment later.

"You won't be late _again_,'kay? I guarantee it," Koko grinned, ruffling my hair. To think that almost more than a year ago I only words that I said to this guy were either 'good morning!' or 'hi!'. I already knew Natsume back then. Who didn't? Natsume used to teach me how to play the guitar, since we were partners and all that. Koko definitely didn't have such an opportunity, being the class clown.

"And you didn't have to emphasize the word _again_ you know," I glared at him jokingly.

He raised an eyebrow. "Okay, okay. Chill, Mikan." He pretended to fan me with his hands, which had me giggling. Typical Koko behavior.

I heard someone call out my name. I craned my neck around the two boys to see Nonoko, standing with Anna at the front. "We're going to Central Town, Mikan. Want to come?"

Bad timing, I thought. If they knew that I had band practice, they'd probably understand. But they don't even know that I'm in a band. It was time to make an excuse.

"Um, sorry Nonoko," I started. "I already made plans you see." I scratched the back of my head to add to my sheepish image.

She sighed in return. "You're always so busy these days. Not to mention Hotaru as well."

"I promise I'll make it up to you guys! I'm really sorry…"

"Sure. We'll just call you later," she waved as they left the classrooms.

Anna, on the other hand, wasn't as accepting. "Bye, Mikan." Her tone of voice wasn't very uplifting. It was always like this, but there wasn't anything I could do about the circumstances. I had to lie.

Ruka noticed my slightly crestfallen expression and squeezed my shoulder. "It's okay, Mikan. They'll understand."

Will they? I wanted to ask.

"Why don't we go to practice together?" Koko suggested.

I grabbed my bag. "Let's get going."

Together, we walked to the Academy's gates and made sure nobody saw us leaving together. The guard let us through, as usual, and then we hopped into our long, black limousine.

* * *

Leave a review for old time's sake? :)

-_VCL 10/28/12; 12:08 PM_


	2. Chapter 2

_You will never know which one is the right path, if you never took the wrong ones._

**CHAPTER 2**

** Mikan Sakura**

"Why is it always a limo?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to face Koko. "Sorry?"

"A limo's fine. But it's such an eye catcher! And the whole point of this secret thing is to keep it on the down low, right?" He didn't wait for us to respond. "So, why a limo? It stands out!"

Ruka was first to answer, "Don't ask me, you know Imai."

"And I don't get why they're so freaking long. I don't have a license yet but isn't it hard to turn or whatever? And shouldn't there be more space? It's so cramped here! You know what? I'll go ask the driver about the whole turning thing."

I had to ask, "You're high, aren't you?"

"I'm not!"

Ruka's shoulders were shaking, he was trying his best no to laugh, "Yeah, Mikan. It's normal for Koko to act like he's high even if he isn't. It's normal. You should know that by now."

"Must have slipped my mind," I joked.

Ruka and I started laughing like freaks while Koko kept on defending himself. We paid him no mind.

Minutes later, the laughter died down, and was replaced with an eerie silence. Not awkward or anything, because we were all thinking of the same thing.

Still though, how I hated this part. I cleared my throat and both guys looked at me at the same time.

"So, um…who's first?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Ladies first, Mikan," Ruka answered, almost immediately.

I glared at him. You think Ruka's nice? Rain check, he's not. He's like one of those animals who were all innocent and cute at first, but then turn your back on them, they'd attack.

"What? No fair!" I stomped my feet on the car's floor.

At times like this I wished I wasn't the only girl in the band.

"It _is_ fair. Last time we were first. Now it's your turn Mikan. We have to share, you know," Koko smiled widely. This guy smiled all the time. People say that my smile was annoying…. try looking at his sometimes. It's to die for. And I don't mean it in a good way.

"But-!" I was about to protest, but Ruka cut me off.

"No buts. Hurry up or we'll be late. You know how Imai gets when we're late," he said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"_But you didn't have to cut_ Mikan _oooooooff_..."

We stared at Koko.

"The one by Gotye, remember?" He flashed another one of his smiles. "Because Ruka cut you off and… get it? Don't tell me you guys don't know that song!"He closed his eyes dramatically and used a pen as a mic,"_Now you're just somebody that I used to know… somebodeeeeey_!"

"You're weird," was all Ruka said.

"That, my friend, is a given."

"You're doing your thing again, Koko," I said.

"Stop changing the subject, brown eyes," was his clever reply.

That's it. Game over. I sighed and opened my backpack. I looked at Ruka and Koko only to find them staring at me. _Boys_.

I glared at them.

"Well? You know what to do next. Keep your eyes off of me," I said, irritated.

Koko laughed while Ruka was trying not to. "You're so cute when you're irritated, you know?" Koko snickered. How can he do that? Ask a question and laugh at the same time?

"You always say that," I said. They're starting to get on my nerves.

"And you're doing it again! Your face! Damn, so priceless!" Koko struggled to catch his breath, and now Ruka was joining him.

"Shut up. Hurry up and take off your neckties."

Koko nudged Ruka and said, "Okay."

They both took their ties off their uniforms and tied them around their eyes.

If those guys dare peek, I'll kill them.

I started unbuttoning my school uniform and reached into my bag to take out a plain black t-shirt, baggy pants, and sneakers. I shrugged the shirt on and unzipped my skirt after slipping on my pants underneath. Yes, I am changing clothes inside a limo with two teenage boys.

Do you now see the cause of all this hustle and bustle?

We couldn't go to the studio wearing our uniforms, it'll blow our cover. So hence.

"Are you done yet?" Koko asked impatiently.

"Two more minutes!"

"You're such a girl."

"That's because I am one."

My hair was in a mid-high ponytail, but I took my hair tie and let my chestnut locks hang down on my shoulder. I always let my hair down on practice days. I don't know why, but it's easier for me to sing and play the guitar like this.

"Done," I said.

"Finally!"

"Your turn, Mikan," Ruka told me.

I got a scarf from my bag and tied it around my eyes. Just imagine how big my bag is for my clothes and school stuff to fit there! It's always like this when I go with them. So it's either the blindfolds or I went there by myself. Well, of course I chose the blindfolds. I don't want to go there all alone, and plus I need someone talk to! I'm a lonely human being!

I just sat there, waiting for a few minutes.

"You can take it off now."

"We're here," the driver said at the same time. Right on the dot.

The car stopped and the chauffeur opened the doors for us. We entered at the back entrance, to avoid the eyes of the public. The people's eyes were on us, those who were working in the said place. Still, I wasn't used to this. Even though all the people here knew that we were Reckless Heart, they didn't know who we were. Confusing, I know. But all we needed to do was keep cool and not talk to anyone. Easier said than done.

We got inside the elevator and I pressed the tile labelled with number 23. There was a Ting! a short moment later, signalling that we were at our destination. We got off and went inside the room directly across from the elevator doors. This was where we usually practice. There, I found Hotaru tapping her foot impatiently while Natsume was busy tuning his electric guitar.

"You're late," my one and only best friend announced coldly.

"Well, umm, yeah." I scratched the back of my head. It's weird when your best friend acts like your mom. "I had a little trouble with Anna and Nonoko," I said, emphasizing the word 'little'.

"Just try not to be late next time. Time is money, don't you forget that," she shot back emotionlessly.

All three of us passed Hotaru but Koko paused for a second and asked, "Hey, Hotaru?"

_What is it now?_

Hotaru quirked an eyebrow in response.

"Why is it always a limo?"

Oh, good Lord.

We all waited for her answer.

...

...

...

"You want to walk?"

"Er, no. But I was thinking-"

She pointed at the room across the hall. "Practice. Now."

I love Hotaru.

Once Koko caught up with us, Ruka said, "You know what that means..."

"What?"

"She. Cut. You. Off."

I sighed. "You two do know that's not what the song meant, right?"

"On the contrary, a song could have multiple meanings depending on the person listening," Koko said.

I gave it a thought. "Impressive."

"Oh, I try. Now where was I? Oh, right... _she didn't have to cut me ooooo_-"

I whacked him on the head with my bag. "Stop it."

"Ow! That hurt!"

The three of us walked inside the sound proof booth where Natsume currently resided. Koko was still rubbing the side of his head, but hey, look on the bright side, he's not dead.

"_Don't be late_... Right. Nice, Polka."

"Whatever, Natsume," I waved him off.

"Guys, can you fight later? We need to practice at least three songs and then record them today according to our schedule, and I still have math homework!" Koko exclaimed, his face all red. He sucks at math. Like me.

Natsume grabbed his electric guitar. I took mine, Ruka got his bass guitar, and Koko went to his drums. Natsume's our lead guitarist while I'm only back-up/rhythm guitar.

"What song?" Ruka asked, clearly showing his eagerness to play by softly fingering the strings of his guitar.

Natsume thought for a moment, and then answered, "_Love Drunk_."

I recalled the chords inside my head. Got it.

**_(Love Drunk by: Boys Like Girls)_**

The raven haired lad beside me started to play his guitar, we followed soon after.

It was amazing how different instruments could get along so well.

And then he sang…

Natsume's a jerk, and annoying, not to mention that he's a pervert... but that fact tends to slip my mind every time he sang. You'd just think, "_Damn. That voice_."

The way he sang was different from his usual cold self. He lets his emotions show more, and really goes with the flow of the music.

I really loved this feeling. This was the one place where I could be myself and go wild when needed. Every time I wrote a song or played my guitar here in this great studio and with great band members, I feel like I'm another girl.

The song gradually halted to a stop and then I heard Koko scream a "Woohoo! What's next? I'm on a roll today."

Ruka and I exchanged a look and we both understood.

_What a weird friend we have.  
_

* * *

I flopped down on the couch. After two hours of practicing, I was deadbeat tired. Natsume sat beside me with a bottle of water.

"Nice job," I told him.

"You too." He drank from the bottle.

He offered it to me moments later, but I declined. "I'm good," I said.

At school we rarely talked, only note passing during class hours, but it's different here. A good different. We were somehow always connected through music.

We sat in a comfortable silence and let the minutes pass by.

* * *

**Author's Notes**: So that's what I did. No lyrics at all. Teehee. Except the part where Koko quoted Gotye.

Thank you for the reviews! -insert hearts here- And you should be thanking Kage No Megami, she beta read this one as well (but that was before I revised it, so if there are mistakes now, that would be my fault). Go read her stories too! They're amazing. :)

Oh, and like I said, this was written three years ago, so the songs are a bit… you know.

Noticed the added scenes? Care to leave a review? :)


	3. Chapter 3

_"Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a great deal to love a leaf.  
It's ordinary to love the beautiful, but it's beautiful to love the ordinary."  
-Unknown_

**CHAPTER 3  
Mikan Sakura **

It's been two days since we have finished recording our three songs. Right now all we have to do was to wait and go on with our normal lives (aka school). It has been such an awesome year for the band, if we could exclude the part wherein we tend to make up excuses to our friends about recording sessions, meetings, and practices.

The few weeks after we released our first single… it was utterly nerve wracking. Silly thoughts invaded my mind. _What if they don't like it? What if it sucks? What if. What if. What if._

The public's reception mattered, a lot, if not the most. You'd know where to go from there. To change course, to go back and start again, but to stop and quit was never an option.

But hell, they liked it. People actually liked it. We were the "controversial band", the "who are they really band" of that year.

I was walking with Koko to practice one day just after the first single came out and we passed by a couple of girls who were a year older than us humming a familiar tune.

I felt Koko grab my arm and we like robots we made a turn and followed them.

"How did that song go again?" one girl who wasn't in my class asked.

The blonde girl next to her took a piece of paper from her bag. "Here. I printed their lyrics, I got 'em online."

"You are such a fangirl."

"Like you're not!"

By that time, Koko was squeezing arm so tightly that my hand was turning white from the lack of blood circulation. But I didn't care.

"Yeah well, it's new and it's good. What's not to like?"

I thought I'd pass out on the spot… Koko beat me to it.

When joining the band, I was eager to shoot music videos and sing live, but no. Because the moment we got signed, Hotaru announced that we weren't going to do any of those. Reckless Heart will have to lay low for a while. Her reason?

Meh. It's Hotaru Imai. Never question her.

There were perks though. If not for Reckless Heart, I wouldn't have gotten close with Ruka, Koko, and Natsume. We were already friends back in elementary but being in a band is different. And before I found it weird hanging out with guys. Boys were just so weird.

Boys were _still_ weird.

You get the point though, right? I was, kind of, one of the guys. I have their backs and they have mine (I'm not quite sure with Natsume though. He's hard to read.)

Of course there's still the issue with Anna and Nonoko but hiding something from them was, in a way, _exciting_.

I sat up from my bed glanced around the room, not having anything to do. Friday nights were supposed to be… wild. Not for me. Not for the band. We always have meetings on Saturdays.

My eyes stopped wandering and I found myself staring at the acoustic guitar placed near my closet. It wasn't really mine begin with, but he gave it to me.

His name would always pop inside my mind every time I see that guitar.

When Natsume and I first met when we were in elementary, we weren't in the best of terms. Mr. Narumi even made it worse when he assigned Natsume to be my partner.

It was horrible, being with that brat….

… until it wasn't.

Two years ago, back in middle school, our Music teacher then decided that for our final exam, instead of the usual written exam, he announced that there will be a music fair of some sort. The auditions will be our exam and you get extra points when you get accepted along with prize money and you get to sing in front of the whole Academy yadda yadda yadda.

I just wanted to pass. I wasn't musically talented at all.

And… I don't know. I was in my usual spot at the Sakura tree, trying my best to understand how to play the guitar when I a voice called out, "that's not music. That's noise."

I didn't even look up. I knew exactly who it was… my supposedly partner. But it did surprise me that I didn't notice him there. I've been cursing for the past ten minutes, it was embarrassing.

"Yeah? Like you know how?" I challenged. "You're the one who always cuts Music class."

Natsume grunted and jumped off the Sakura tree, landing softly on his feet.

_How does he do that?_

Arms crossed, he eyed me carefully. I suddenly felt conscious.

"What's that supposed to be?" he asked.

"What?"

"That chord," he replied nonchalantly gesturing to the guitar that I borrowed from class.

Oh. "D-minor?"

"You sure about that?" he smirked which annoyed the hell out of me. I thought he was only here to mock me but to my surprise he sat down on the grass facing me. Without saying he took the instrument from me and positioned his fingers on its chords.

He didn't even check the guitar's neck to make sure (I do… all the time.)

"_This_ is a D-minor." He handed it back to me. "Now you."

"Like this?" I asked like a kid who didn't know a thing.

He nodded, "now strum it."

And I did.

Natsume raised an eyebrow.

It sounded awful.

"It's not tuned," he said, running a hand through his hair, messing it up even more. "I'll get mine."

"You have a guitar?" I asked, sounding surprised.

He smirked again and this time it wasn't that annoying. "Yeah, Polkadots. And you might want to wear shorts, especially when you're going to seat like that." He got up and walked to the boy's dormitory.

For the first time ever since I entered the Academy, Natsume Hyuuga was actually doing something what a partner would do. Better yet, what a _friend_ would do… he was helping me.

He didn't admit it then though.

"YOU ARE SUCH A PERVERT!"

This went on until the day before our exams, which was more or less a month and a half later. And since then, I had to admit, I gotten a whole lot better. I wasn't an expert but I could get by.

Oh yeah. I freaking passed Music class.

And it was all thanks to Natsume.

I snapped back into reality, crawled out of my bed and checked the time.

_9:45 P.M._

"I'm not sleepy yet," I said aloud to myself.

I walked to the kitchen and got a glass of water.

I sat down at the edge of my queen-sized bed and drank. When I was finished, I placed the empty glass on my bed-side table.

_What am I going to do now?_ I hate have nothing to do.

Then I saw my iPod on its dock all the way across the room. I walked over to it and put it on shuffle. The very first song that played was a soundtrack from this movie that I really liked. I didn't really like the plot (To much action and blood. No romance at all.)… but I like the memories that came along with it when we watched it. By 'we' I meant Reckless Heart.

It was the first movie we watched together and it happened on the very same day they _forced_ me to join the band a year ago.

* * *

**Normal POV**

Fourteen year old Mikan Sakura was sitting under her favorite Sakura tree. She was writing a song, but so far only had the chorus written out. Who would've thought that she would develop a love for music? Not her, that's for sure. But things don't always go the way they're planned.

Ugh, this is hard, she thought, clenching her brow in deep thought.

Ever since she learned how to play the guitar, she couldn't put it down. She didn't really mind the silence, though, that her favorite place gave her. Sometimes, she thought to herself, that this place was where her muse worked best.

Far away, she heard a girl's angry voice.

"But Natsume, _why_?" the voice cried out.

Mikan got curious and decided to see what was going on. She stood up, dusted off her skirt, and tried to find the source of that loud, and rather obnoxious voice. She ended up near the school fountain where she saw Koko, Ruka, Natsume, and a girl whose back was turned to her.

"You're asking why? You can't even play an instrument. I hate your voice, and obviously, I also hate you. You're out," Natsume said in a cold tone.

"But-" the girl started.

_Oh damn. That's Luna._

"Just go away. You invited yourself into this band. "He turned his back towards Luna and faced his other band mates.

Mikan was still watching the scene unfold when a voice whispered in her ear. "I never thought that I would find you here, Mikan."

She nearly jumped a foot off the ground. "Hotaru! What are you doing here?" Mikan asked, surprised.

"Same as you-spying. Pipe down, this is good news, "Hotaru warned.

Mikan gulped and did what she was told.

Luna soon left, leaving the three alone.

"Natsume, I got to say, thanks a lot man! She was annoying!" Koko said. Shouted in ecstasy more like.

"I agree with Koko, but we're still one member short. We're about to sign a contact with G Clef in four days. What do you plan on doing?" Ruka asked his best friend.

"We'll find one," he said simply.

And with that, they left.

"Natsume's in a band? I never knew that," Mikan pondered aloud to Hotaru.

"Well I knew-" Mikan raised an eyebrow. "Idiot, I'm not stalking them. I have my sources," Hotaru snapped to the dunderhead.

"Oh."

"Well, see you later." Hotaru left her all alone behind the bush.

**Three Days Later**

The guys still had no luck finding another band member.

"What if we can't find another one until tomorrow?" Koko asked impatiently.

"We will. Trust me. I have a list of students here who can play an electric guitar. Let's discuss it somewhere else," Ruka replied back.

They headed to the biggest sakura tree on campus, where they knew Natsume was sitting on one of its branches, reading his manga. Ruka sat down, leaning his back against the tree while Koko lied down on the grass.

"Nothing. I don't like any of them," Ruka sighed, while looking down at the list.

Unknown to them, Mikan was on the other side of the tree, practicing a part of the song she had been working on.

All three of them heard a guitar being striking a few simple chords followed shortly by a young, pure, and powerful voice.

_**(Obvious by Hey Monday)**_

Ruka looked at Koko, who gave him the thumbs up.

Mikan continued to sing, not knowing that she had an audience.

The two looked at Natsume who simply smirked.

Natsume leapt down from the tree and made his way to the other side of the sakura tree with the boys tagging behind him.

Mikan let the last chord hang in the air and smiled, happy with the progress of the song so far. She then heard someone clapping and immediately stood up. Her face was all red and embarrassed.

"You heard me, didn't you?" she accused them, bowing her head to hide her blush.

"Yeah, actually we did," Ruka admitted sheepishly.

"I'm so sorry…I know it didn't sound very good and-"

"We want you in our band," Natsume cut in rather bluntly.

"What?" Mikan asked, surprised.

"You heard me the first time," he said in an annoyed tone.

Mikan was further taken aback by the tone of his voice. She placed her hands on her hip and glared at him. "What if I don't want to, huh, you jerk?"

Natsume smirked and took a step closer to Mikan.

"You have no other choice, little girl. You owe me, remember? I taught you how to play the guitar. If you hadn't learned, you would've failed music. In the end, you did say you'd do anything in return. This is the return payment for the lessons," Natsume retorted back in a matter-of-fact tone.

He's right.

"Guitar lessons?" Koko asked, confused. "_You_," he said to Natsume, "gave Mikan guitar lessons?"

Natsume shrugged and waited for Mikan's reply.

"Seriously? A band is…" She stretched out her arms, "…a big thing."

"Please Mikan? We really need you. Don't you want the world to hear your voice?" Koko asked, pleading.

"The world? Hold on. You guys are getting _signed_?"

This _was _a big thing.

"Yeah. It'll be great! Trust me," Koko said.

"I don't know…"

"You owe me, Polka."

Mikan shot Natsume a look. "I didn't forget, jerk. But don't you think joining your band in exchange for those guitar lessons is too much?"

The raven haired lad just rolled his eyes. "_Right. _For all I know we're doing you a huge favor."

"I beg your pardon?"

"Beg all you want."

"_Natsume_."

"Polkadots."

"Guys!" Ruka stepped in. "Need I remind you that we need one more member? Could you two stop fighting for just a few more minutes until we get this settled?"

Mikan sighed, "there are other students who can play-"

"None," came Koko's reply.

"-and sing."

"Oh, not even close."

Mikan bit her lower lip. This was a huge decision for her to make. But opportunities like this are rare. Would she risk it?

"I'm in."

She risked it.

"Yes!" Koko exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. Ruka smiled while Natsume, as always, smirked.

"Welcome to _Flame_, Mikan," Ruka said warmly.

Mikan raised an eyebrow, "Wait, what? Flame? No way! If I'm going to join this band I get to pick its name," Mikan exclaimed. "Flame is such a generic boy band name, and we're going to be so much more on my watch."

Natsume raised an eyebrow. Ruka was about to protest when…

"Have it your way then, but make sure it's not too girly," Natsume said while messing with his hair.

She smiled in reply.

"Hey Mikan, want to practice that song you played? You do know how to play with an electric guitar, right?" Koko asked Mikan.

"Of course," was all she said.

"You are one cool girl, you know?" Koko smiled at her.

She only giggled. Mikan was about to go to wherever with Natsume, Koko, and Ruka when she saw a familiar raven haired girl with violet eyes step out of the bushes.

"Hotaru! Were you spying on us?" Mikan asked.

"Duh," Hotaru said. "Idiot."

"What do you want Imai?" Natsume asked coldly. Knowing Hotaru, she only butted her nose into everything and anything to do with money.

"Simple. I'm going to be your manager. You dare protest and I'll blackmail you," she said confidently, "and tell everyone about the band before it even starts."

Natsume rubbed his temples. "Do whatever you want, Imai."

"Guys, guys!" Koko said, "why don't we go to Central Town and watch a movie? Let's celebrate!"

* * *

I smiled to myself. I had changed the name of the band to Reckless Heart. Then after we signed the contract, we recorded our first song with Hotaru as our manager. A week later after _Obvious_ was first played on the radio, it ranked in the top 10 hit charts. But days after Hotaru told us that Reckless Heart wouldn't be going out in public, wouldn't be making music videos, and wouldn't be attending interviews or performing live.

_What the hell?_

I was jumping up and down when I heard my voice and song on the radio. And when Nonoko, Anna, and even Sumire and Luna were singing my song, I was deliriously happy. But nobody knows who sang it. All they know was the band's name and nothing more, nothing less.

Stupid secret.

* * *

**Author's Notes**:

You have to forgive me if there are _still_ errors in this chapter. Feel free to point them out and I'll edit it later on!

And for those who asked...

Yes, I'll be reposting Restless Hearts as well but only _after_ I finish Reckless Heart.

And lastly, the reason why I deleted this in the first place was because musical lyrics aren't allowed (it's in the Rules and Guidelines). I could have been banned from this site and all my other fanifcs would have been deleted as well. That's why I took it down and revised the whole thing.

Updating this chapter a day before my FFN birthday. Five years. I've been on this site for five years already. :")

Til the next chapter!

-_Vanilla Coated Love_ (11/12/12; 8:45 PM)


	4. Chapter 4

_The reason why we struggle with insecurity is because  
__we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel._

_–Steve Furtick_

**CHAPTER 4**

**Mikan Sakura**

Today's Monday, my favorite day of the week… if it was opposite day.

I looked at my reflection in the mirror, fixing myself up. I don't know why, but I decided to put my hair in pigtails today.

My classmates were surprised when my trademark pigtails were gone for the first time. Some said teasingly that I was trying to impress someone, and others said that they liked it better my new way. But truthfully, the reason why I now wear my hair in a ponytail, or a half pony was because often band practices would run late and it was too much of a hassle combing out the tangles if I were to let it down, and it took too much effort to part my hair into two.

But today, I miss the old times and for today at least, I want to be the girl I was before, even if just by hairstyle. I gave my high school uniform the once over to make sure it passed school regulations, then grabbed my bag and went out the door.

I woke up quite early today. Classes started at eight and my wristwatch read 7:02 A.M. I don't even know what got into me, but I just couldn't go back to sleep. There wouldn't be any harm to go to class early, right?

I locked my dorm room and walked out of the dormitory to class.

I planned to have a talk with Hotaru after classes were over today. Anna and Nonoko were being suspicious again, especially when they paid me a visit yesterday.

* * *

**NORMAL P.O.V**

_Two Days Ago_

It was a beautiful Saturday morning…or so it seemed. Our female protagonist was about to go to her best friend's room for their regular band meetings when her own door suddenly opened as she was about to turn the door knob. Mikan yelped in shock as two squealing girls entered at lightning speed.

"Mikan, Mikan! MIKAN!" both girls said in unison, tackling her to the floor.

She giggled at their actions. "Hello to you two too."

"Guess what?" Nonoko asked, eyes bright with mischief.

Mikan put her forefinger to her chin, pretending that she was thinking hard, and looked up.

"Hm. Anna and Koko are dating?" Anna's face turned red.

"No! We are NOT dating!" Anna protested.

"But you like him, right?" the twins' lovable brunette friend asked with a smirk plastered on her face.

Anna didn't answer. Her face was even redder.

"Oh damn! You do? I knew that you had a crush on him since, well, no one knows when but… really?" Mikan asked, surprised.

Anna slowly nodded her head.

"And you knew and never told me?" Mikan asked as she faced Nonoko, arms around her chest.

Nonoko gave a nervous laugh. "About that…sorry?"

"Permy will kill you if she ever found out," Mikan said all knowingly. Koko and Sumire were childhood friends and even though Sumire wouldn't admit it, it was obvious that she has feelings Reckless Heart's drummer.

That was another thing. Koko keeping the secret from Sumire.

"It's just a crush, it'll fade," Anna said, not looking at Mikan in the eye.

_Yeah, riiight, _Mikan thought.

Mikan looked at Nonoko and smiled at her. "Well at least I found some hot news today." She glanced at her two friends. "What were you guys going to tell me again. Before Anna's shocking revelation."

"Mikan!" Anna stomped her foot. "Stop it!"

"What? I didn't do anything," Mikan said innocently as she led the girls into her bedroom. The three of them plopped down onto the couch in there.

"So? What's the news?" Mikan asked as she plumped up a cushion.

Both girls looked at each other before answering the brunette.

"It's about RH!" the girls answered, jumping up and down.

That caught Mikan off guard.

Mikan shrugged and tried to act cool. "What about them?"

"They have a new song!" the girls exclaimed, while _still_ jumping up and down.

"Oh. Love Drunk?"

"Yeah! It's the best song ever-wait," Anna paused. "How do you know, Mikan? I thought you weren't a fan?" Both girls stopped jumping.

_Oh crap._

"Uh…you see-?" She stuttered.

"Don't tell me…"Nonoko murmured. Mikan sweated. _What is she thinking?_

"You're a fan too!" Nonoko exclaimed as Anna squealed in delight.

"Huh?" was all she said.

"Cool! You fell in love with the singer's voice, didn't you?"

"What? No way!'

_This cannot be happening. How did it end up like this?_

"Don't take it too seriously. It's not like you know him, right?" Anna asked, eyeing her other friend. Something was weird about her today. Mikan was acting so strange.

"Yeah! You're right! Correct," Mikan answered back a little too quickly.

Anna and Nonoko gave Mikan questioning looks.

"So how are things with Koko, Anna?" Mikan asked, changing the subject. They fell for the bait.

Hours passed. It was almost dark when Anna and Nonoko left Mikan's dorm.

Mikan sighed as she slumped her body on the bed.

_I forgot about the meeting!_ she thought as she mentally slapped herself.

* * *

I tried looking for Hotaru yesterday, but she had business with the head of G Clef. Thinking of ways to grab her attention alone today, I entered our classroom. Obviously, no one was inside. I made my way to my seat. I sat down and rested my head on my desk. I then closed my eyes.

Minutes passed when I heard someone enter. I didn't even bother to look up.

I felt someone poke my cheek. I the immediately opened my eyes and met the gaze of a pair of crimson orbs. I was stunned; I had never looked at his eyes so close like this before.

"Something bothering you, little girl?" Natsume asked, sitting right next to me in his usual seat.

_Is he concerned?_ The thought almost made me smile, but it was impossible for that to happen.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I answered. I raised my arms to the air, stretching.

"What's with the pigtails?" He paused, and then added, "You look ugly." He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes.

"Hey! Take that back you jerk!" I shouted.

"I like it better when your hair is down," he mumbled.

"Oh." I looked at him and felt my face getting hot. We were still the only ones in our room. I turned my head in the opposite direction to get my mind off of him.

We sat in an uncomfortable silence. I was silently praying for at least one of my classmates to enter the room. Even Luna would do! Then, before I lost my courage, I decided to break the silence.

"Hey Natsume," I started and turned my head to face him.

Then I froze.

Our faces were only inches apart.

* * *

_-Vanilla Coated Love (11/15/12)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Notes**: I did my best, I really did. But there's still something… ewww about my writing style years ago that no matter how much I revise/edit it... I'm still not contented.

* * *

_I believe that once you find "the one", you'll give them a hundred and one chances to get it right._

**CHAPTER 5**

**Mikan Sakura**

_How did he get this close?_

I felt him touch my cheek, his hands were warm. He was looking intently at me. I was frozen on the spot.

I _wanted_ to move. But what will I do? Or even talk. But what will I say?

He leaned closer…

… and the next thing I knew, half of my hair was down.

I realized, a few seconds later that Natsume took one of my ribbons off. He smirked at me as I felt his hand loosen the other ribbon. All I did was look at him.

"There. Much better," I heard him say casually. He retrieved his hand and backed up a few inches to give space between us.

Just then I heard our classroom's door opened. I turned my attention towards that direction

Yuu entered the room and smiled when he saw me. "Good morning, Mikan. You're here early."

By this time I finally found my voice. "I… yeah. Good morning."

He turned his gaze to the guy beside me. "Morning, Natsume."

Natsume shrugged.

Within a few minutes the classroom was already full. Students were grouped with their friends having loud conversations while waiting for Mr. Narumi. A normal setting. I would have joined them, but I was distracted.

"Mikan, what's wrong?" I looked up and saw both Anna and Nonoko with concerned looks on their faces.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked.

"Ever since we got here we noticed that you were quiet. _Too_ quiet. You didn't even greet us a good morning." I was too preoccupied by my thoughts that my classmates got worried. "Something bad happened?" Anna said.

Am I really that easy to read?

I was about to answer when someone, an uninvited someone, joined our conversation.

"Look what we've got here. Little Miss Sakura is lonely? Got dumped?" Luna said as she flipped her hair.

I twitched. I hated her voice; it was so high and pitchy.

"Go away. I'm not in the mood to argue with you." I glared at her, "And it's none of your business."

"Awww. The ugliest girl in the world is not in the mood? _Boohoo_."

I clenched my fist. All right, enough of this. I had enough. "At least I don't have an ugly voice and got kicked out of a band a year ago." As I said those words everybody stopped what they were doing and looked at our direction. Jackpot.

I noticed Hotaru half-smiling at me and was recording the scene with her video camera. Ruka and Koko were grinning and as for Natsume I don't know what expression he's wearing.

"What are you talking about, Mikan?" Nonoko asked.

"Yeah! What band?" I heard one of classmates said.

Luna looked nervous. She is nervous. I winked at her. She wanted a bitch fight, I'll give her a bitch fight. And I will not lose.

"Oh. You guys didn't know? Well then, let's just say that there was this band. And the members of this band kicked her out..." I paused. "No. She wasn't kicked out because Luna wasn't even a member at that time."

"How did you…?" Luna's voice trailed on.

"Because I was _there_. Now please, before you go humiliating people," I paused, for effect. "Make sure they don't have something up their sleeves."

"Shut up." I heard Luna said. She wanted me to shut up, after humiliating me since elementary? No way.

Everyone was silent, they were staring at Luna.

"Don't believe me?" I asked my classmates, doubt evident in their eyes. "Ask Hotaru she recorded everything." All heads turned towards Hotaru rather robotically.

"Only 250 rabbits," the princess of blackmail said, emotionless.

Almost half rushed towards Hotaru buying Luna's most humiliating time of her life.

I looked at her and she was glaring at me. At last, victory.

After classes were over I headed back to my room. I sat down at one of the chairs in the kitchen, not quite sure why I was there. I touched my cheek then remembered my encounter with Natsume.

He was so close.

My phone beeped all of a sudden which caused me to jump.

It was a message from Hotaru.

_Open your door, idiot._

I raised an eyebrow but did what I was told.

"Took you long enough," Hotaru said as she let herself in.

"Why didn't you just knocked?" I asked her.

"Knocking requires energy."

I laughed. "So does sending me a text message."

"But compared to the former, sending a text involves less."

"Nerd," I teased, closing the door. "What brings you here then?"

Hotaru didn't waste a second, she went straight to the point. "I came here to talk to you. Now tell me what's wrong." It was rather of a command not a request. Hotaru shows her concerns differently than most other people do.

I couldn't lie to her. And even if I did, she would know right away that I wasn't telling the truth. Hotaru was a lying detector.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. "You might think it's weird… gross even."

Honestly, Hotaru and I rarely talk about feelings. Hotaru and I rarely talk. Period. Especially after Reckless Heart. I thought it would give us more time to hang out. I was wrong. We both got busy. The only times we would talk were during class hours and band meetings.

Hotaru sighed. "It's about Hyuuga, correct?"

I dared not to lie and wasn't surprised that she knew. "I think so."

"_Finally_."

My head snapped towards her direction. "What did you just say?"

"You two are stubborn mules." Hotaru smirked.

"Hold on… you're not mad? You _know_?"

That just can't be. She knows what I feel yet I don't know?

"It's obvious that you like him Mikan. I mean, just by the way you look at him."

"But I don't! You're talking trash, Hotaru. I mean what the fu-" I was about to swear when she cut me off.

"And it's pretty obvious that he likes you back," Hotaru said as she was trying to read my face.

Hotaru touched my shoulder. I looked at her and she smiled at me. She rarely smiled, trust me on this.

"Mikan, as your manager I don't like this. We've talked about this before. You're in a band. This is business not a love story. You can't fall for him."

I sighed. "I know, Hotaru. I know." I looked down at my lap.

"But.." She paused, half smiling, "As a friend… go for it. Just promise me that you won't get distracted."

I stared at her for I don't know how long, not quite believing what I just heard. I hugged her and thanked her for being my friend.

"I will. You're the best Hotaru." I whispered.

"And it'll be good for the market if you and Hyuuga started dating. Money."

I laughed. "I knew you'd say something like that."

"Mikan it's getting late. I better go back to my dorm." She stood up.

I followed her, and was about to grab the door knob when I asked, "so, you still won't change your mind about RH going public?"

A slight pause.

"Mikan…" She turned around, facing me. "It's part of the deal. You asked me to be your manager and I know what I'm doing. It's strategy. Imagine longing for something you can't have or not knowing when you'll have it. It's bait. That's what we're doing. All those songs, but they have no idea who you guys are. We already know that they love you. We'll surprise your fans when they least expect it." Then she opened the door and left.

I grinned. Hotaru knew how to make an exit speech.

_Imagine longing for something you can't have or not knowing when you'll have it._


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's notes:** Just wanted to remind you that I originally wrote Reckless Heart four years ago but I deleted the original one because of FFN rules.

**Disclaimer**: The quote before the chapter proper is not mine.

* * *

_I wish love was like a volleyball. You would shout "mine" and everyone else would step back._

**CHAPTER 6**

**Mikan Sakura**

I had no idea why I was avoiding him, ever since a few weeks ago after that incident. And trust me, it was a challenge seeing that we're classmates and not to mention bandmates. Everything just spells awkward.

I felt someone poke my left arm and turned to its direction. There was a folded piece of paper on my desk. I looked at the raven haired boy sitting right next to me only to find him looking outside the window. I took the note and unfolded it.

**What's with you?**

_What do you mean?_ I slid it to his side and in a few seconds he gave it back.

**Tch. You know what I mean, Ms. Obvious.**

I rolled my eyes.

_Well sorry MR. LOVE DRUNK, but I really don't know what you're talking about. _

I passed the paper back to him grudgingly. The nerve of this guy.

Seconds later, Mr. Narumi entered the room beaming at his students who didn't pay him any attention. "Good morning, my little children!"

"Well I have a wonderful announcement to make!" He clasped his hands together, his eyes were practically glittering.

"Just get on with it already!" One of my classmates shouted.

"Patience now. Okay.." He started. "As you all know the annual Halloween Ball is approaching and –" Mr. Narumi was cut off by Luna.

"Oh God. I almost forgot it's the Ball! I don't have a costume yet."

At that the girls started to talk about how amazing the past Halloween Balls have been. How every year there was a celebrity who would play a song or two and how some of the seniors would sneak drinks in the gym where the dance was usually held. I sighed and rested my chin on the palm of my hand, I wasn't really into these kinds of events.

"Uhm yes, costumes we'll get to that later but what I'm trying to say is that Class 2-B will be in charge of decorating." Mr. Narumi pointed out. "So, the ball is in a week and I need all of you to participate. Yuu you're in charge and you too Hotaru."

"Yes, Mr. Narumi." Yuu said.

"And about your costumes, you have to wear something that will not be recognizable. If you want to wear a mask or dye your hair or wear fake contacts go ahead as long as no one can notice you. "

I raised my hand to ask a question.

"Yes, Mikan?"

I stood. "Why?"

"Why?" Our homeroom adviser asked,

"Mr. Narumi, why does it have to 'not recognizable' it wasn't like this last year."

"Oh I see. Thanks for the question, Mikan. Well the high school principal along with the faculty agreed that this year's theme would be some sort of a masquerade said that it would add excitement to the event. That is the whole point of Halloween, is it not?"

I nodded and sat back down. I suddenly felt embarrassed for asking such a stupid question.

He smiled. "Lastly all your morning classes are cancelled for the week to make room for the preparations. Any more questions? None? Class dismissed."

Once Mr. Narumi was out the door I went to where Ruka and Koko were.

"Hey, brown eyes!" Koko greeted when he saw me.

"Brown eyes?" Ruka raised an eyebrow.

"Guys?" I asked.

"The girl has brown eyes!"

"What the hell? Who names a person 'brown eyes'?"

"Me!"

"Guys? Hello?" I tried once more.

"Well then I guess you can call me blue eyes, right?"

"Exactly." Koko had this stupid smile on his face.

"That's stupid." Ruka said and pretended to rub his temples.

"GUYS!"

Both Koko and Ruka looked at me.

"Huh? Oh hey, brown eyes! Uh.. Deja vu?"

"That was because it just happened, Koko. Hi, Mikan." Ruka smiled at me.

"We have practice right?" I said in a whisper.

"Correction. It's just a meeting. Want to come with?"

"Oh sure that would be aweso-"

"Mikan! Want to join us buy costumes then after that we can..." Anna paused as she noticed Ruka and Koko. "Let me guess… busy again?" Damn. She's mad.

I don't need this right now. I don't want to lie to my friends anymore. "Anna, look I'm so sorry maybe tomorrow?"

"You've been so busy these days Mikan. I cannot believe you prefer hanging out with boys." Nonoko entered the scene.

I was about to turn to Ruka or Koko for help but they were nowhere to be found. They left me. Some bandmates.

I looked at the clock only to find that I only have ten minutes before the meeting starts.

"Crap. I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. I promise." I dashed right out, thinking how awful of a friend I was. I went to my dorm to change after a few minutes I called the limo to pick me up.

There was a short cut to the gates that I discovered just a few months ago, but I have to pass the Sakura Trees just outside the middle school building. I was half way there when someone's voice made me stop in my tracks.

"Little girl." I turned around knowing the owner of the voice. He was a few meters away from me but I heard him perfectly.

"Natsume…" I whispered once I found my voice. "Why aren't you at the meeting?" I asked, avoiding his gaze.

"I want answers polka." He leaned at the closest tree. "Care to tell me why you're avoiding me?"

Silence lingered in the air. I wasn't ready for any of this. It's only been days since I realized what I felt for this jerk. God. Why him? I feel like I'm one of his fangirls now. I felt generic.

"I don't know," I said, which wasn't a total lie. I had no idea what to say.

He rolled his eyes. "You don't know? Yeah, right." Natsume took a step forward, once he reached me, he sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "Okay, let's get this over with…"

I looked up at him questioningly and took a step back. _Damn, he's tall_. He shoved his hands in his pockets and breathed out, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? About what happened before."

He meant the incident in the classroom.

I was about to ask him why he cared so much when Natsume added, "For the band's sake."

The band. Right. The only reason why I get to hang out with Natsume and the others was because of Reckless Heart. If I declined the offer, there would be none of these. Everything about Natsume and I was strictly business.

_Then why does it hurt so much? _

I balled my fist.

I steadied my voice, stared down at my shoes, and slowly whispered, "You just don't get it do you?"

Then I ran as fast as I could, not towards the gates but to my room. I had to get away.

_For the band's sake._

Damn it.

* * *

**Additional notes**: If you've read the original fic before, this wasn't how this chapter was supposed to end. Like I said, I'm revising (for the better). :)

_4/22/2013, 1:41 pm_


End file.
